Updated: October 2024
It’s a common thing to say when arranging meetings at work, e.g.: “When works for you? I’m flexible.” But it equally applies to organising things with your friends and family.
You probably say “I’m flexible” out of consideration for the other person, allowing them to pick a convenient time.
Despite the good intentions, saying “I’m flexible” has the opposite effect – it’s not really considerate. It is passing the ‘cognitive buck’. You’re asking the other person to handle the scheduling problem.
Studies show that people are more likely to accept a meeting request when you propose a specific time and date (e.g. Tuesday at 2:00pm), compared to leaving it up to them. We prefer ‘constrained’ decisions, especially when we’re busy.
Of course, you should remain prepared to be flexible when requesting someone’s time, even if you don’t say it. Propose a time (bonus points if you actually give some thought to what might work best for them), and then be flexible if they come back with an alternative.
It’s an old habit for me. But moving forward I’ll try to be kinder and stop saying “I’m flexible”.
P.S. I learnt about this from the book ‘Algorithms to Live By’ by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths. Check out my summary of the book for more great advice on productivity, decision-making, prioritisation and strategy.
Where to next?
- Check out my summary of ‘Algorithms to Live By’ by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths.
- Buy a copy of Algorithms to Live By, by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths : AU • UK • US
- See author Tom Griffiths’s great TEDx talk.
How can we help you?
If you’re an aspiring or established leader, we’d love to support your development.
Here are three ways:
- Subscribe to our free newsletter – we offer weekly actionable insights, expert strategies and inspiring content on leadership, management and personal development
- Connect with us on LinkedIn – we post practical advice on management and leadership every day
- Join High Society – this is our exclusive membership-based community for modern leaders from around the world who are creating impactful and meaningful change in their organisations
We’re Impact Society – join 5,000 aspiring and established leaders
from 50+ countries who are changing the world, one team at a time.
Read our story
