Here’s a word for something we all know, but rarely articulate: sonder.
American writer John Koenig published an ambitious book in 2012, ‘The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows’. It’s an amazing project: he set about creating new words to describe complex emotions that lack a precise term in English.
One that struck me was sonder.
Sonder is the profound realisation that every stranger, colleague and passerby has a life as rich, vivid and complex as our own.
The person standing next to us in the queue or sitting beside us on the bus brings their own happy and painful history to that moment. They have their own universe of friends, family and colleagues who interact daily with their ambitions, fears and routines.
And this, of course, applies to each of our colleagues. To our boss, teammates and direct reports.
It applies to CEOs, frontline workers and everyone in between.
They’re complicated beings with complicated relationships to their work and their colleagues. They have a full life of stuff going on, which regularly affects how they show up to work (or fail to).
Recognising this changes how we lead. Instead of treating everyone as vanilla drones that show up in the same way as one another and in the same way everyday, we can see them for the unique humans they are. And that their insecurities, frustrations, tensions and conflicts at work often (but not always) have little to do with us. And more to do with the unseen worlds that our colleagues are navigating.
It means approaching situations with more curiosity and less judgement. And assuming good intent until otherwise proven, and understanding that – like us – everyone is showing up with more on their plate than we can see.
Want to become a more understanding and effective leader?
Small actions, big impact: Our Random Acts of Leadership card deck is designed for people who wish to be better leaders, but don’t where to start and don’t have much time. Each of the 52 cards includes a straightforward and effective activity that can be completed in 15 minutes or less.
Impact Society
Random Acts of Leadership
US$35
New
New. 52 cards to inspire small, daily leadership actions that build trust, boost team engagement and enhance leadership skills.
