Arrogance is insecurity masquerading as confidence.
The recent US election reminded me of this thought I wrote down years ago.
Whether someone sees Donald Trump as arrogant or confident often depends on their political perspective. But what really separates confidence from arrogance?
I like Harry Kraemer’s definition of true self-confidence in his book From Values to Action:
“With true self-confidence… leaders recognise what they know and what they don’t know. When you develop true self-confidence, you don’t need to put on a façade that suggests to the world that you have mastered everything. Nor do you wilt at the first signs of a challenge, believing that you are not good enough or strong enough to face it”
That’s self-confidence. It’s rooted in self-awareness, honesty and the courage to be vulnerable. It doesn’t demand expertise in every field. It simply shows we’re secure enough to acknowledge what we do and don’t know – both to ourselves and to others.
Arrogance, on the other hand, is confidence’s hollow twin. Built on insecurity, it resists vulnerability and lacks substance. It often pairs with aggression, guarding against any challenge that could expose its fragility.
True confidence invites connection and growth. Arrogance repels it.
The difference lies not in how much we know, but in how deeply we’re willing to understand ourselves.
