Pain is inevitable. But what happens next is up to us.
We can process it and grow. Or avoid it and watch it repeat.
It’s inevitable that we experience painful moments, at work and in life.
Pain is part of being human. Things go wrong: at work, in life and everywhere in between.
Sometimes it’s beyond our control – we’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But often we’ve contributed to the problem in ways we don’t understand.
When we experience pain, our instinct is to:
- Blame someone or something else (including bad luck); and/or
- Distract ourselves with busyness, entertainment, scrolling and other forms of avoidance
Both rob us of reflection.
And without reflection, we miss the opportunity to learn, adapt and prevent the same mistakes from happening again.
Ray Dalio has a catchy formula to deal with this:
Pain + Reflection = Progress
Reflection is the opposite of avoidance.
It helps us recognise patterns and understand problems. And formulate a growth response that allows us to progress.
Without it, all we’re left with is pain – a miserable waste.
Reflection can take many forms: quiet contemplation, journaling and talking it through with our boss, coach, trusted friend or therapist.
This applies equally to problems in our organisation or team, as it does to our work or personal lives.
Workplace failures and leadership struggles all offer opportunities for growth. If we choose to reflect rather than avoid.
Pain sucks. But it’s also an invitation – to reflect, grow and move forward.
In the end, the choice is ours: avoid or grow.
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